im back! like they said i need a journal of my own, so i guess blog would be e best cause is easy to access! hahah!
the recent post was like a year ago when i was inside army struggling. now i see more of myself this year. i really wish to read back all this memory as time pass and reflect on myself. okay...
oh anyway how it goes.. i distrupt my NS and i went to smu. 1st semester was so hard for me, i met this gal michelle which is so nice. i was bought into church and slowly i stay there for quite sometimes liao, since... september/ early october? i see a glimpse of hope that there are still so many ncie people around me/ this world. i see some light.
the first day i went to this uncle hse, it was such a mess that everyone was in that hse SQUEEZING hahah! we did our first prayer before we ate the food, i feel kinda weird! all of my life ive been looking at my friends doing some sort of praying eating before consuming their food while giving that kind of look like.. do u really need to do this?.. lol. and now... i cant believe i actually went into it. but still not so truthful bah!
uhh still rem that was end of sept i guess and we are called to brought a stuff tat start with our name. so... i buy chocolate! well...
ya did i say that there is one person that is so attractive that caught into my attention!? hmm... but perhaps is that kind of smile i was looking forward to see that really enlighten my days by looking at it.
after all this months ive been with them quite awhile. i shall say that im a kind of person that doesnt talk alot i guess. especially trying to speak english and communicate was kind of awful to me. sighhh.
u know this retreat that i just came back. was kind of happy + sad things. i find it so tiring to control myself from being overreacted. those normal language like ive use 'wtf' 'wth' which i dun mean to curse anyone or smth, infact i means like WOW a big surprise or smth to me, i was somehow refrain from using it, even sometimes we speak dirty joke around with my past year friends i was trying to stop myself from saying all kinds of dirty jokes. feel so tiring, i just cant be myself.
but still i look forward to all the laughters in church and looking for that particular smile. when that smile was no longer there i wish i could say some kind of joke or smth to bring the smile back for "myself" but it seems the old kind of me is not there anymore.
